Books to Gift Yourself for Mothers Day

Books to Gift Yourself for Mothers Day When my first Mothers Day as an actual mother with an actual child rolled around, I was expecting what you see on TV. Mom, in bed, waking up from a long and well-deserved rest to find her child and spouse coming into the room with a perfect (or adorably imperfect) breakfast on a tray. There would be flowers, there would be heartfelt words of appreciation, there would be hugs, and then Mom would be left to bask in the afterglow all by herself. I learned quickly that this isnt how Mothers Day actually works. Im about to hit Mothers Day #6 and I havent had a single one that resembled that vignette in my head in any way at all. Most mothers I know dread Mothers Day and only a small handful end up with that breakfast in bed or the trip to the spa that were told is so common. My response has been to stop being disappointed and start making my own Mothers Day. I treat myself. I think about how my journey is going and I try not to rely on any expectations. So if youre in my position (or you want to be), here are some books you can treat yourself to for Mothers Day this year as you ponder what you do every day. Books on Motherhood Finding commonality in parenthood is invaluable, especially when youre going through the overwhelming early years or the overwhelming middle years or the overwhelming teenage years. An anthology is a wonderful solution, it offers up so many different stories that youre bound to find many that relate to your own experience and many more that expand it. A perfect pick is  Listen To Your Mother: What She Said Then, What Were Saying Now edited by Ann Imig. This book grew out of a live stage show similar to The Moth where mothers and everyone who loves (or hates) them share their stories. And I should disclose that my passion for the movement led to my current role as Director of the Boston Listen To Your Mother production. The stories in this book are taken from hundreds and hundreds of stories shared by all kinds of women and men since the show began. Gay parents, adoptive parents, single parents, gifted kids, unusual kids, special needs kids, every struggle and every success is here an d the essays are all brief so it makes a great book when you just need to pause for 5 minutes or so and take a minute to reconnect with your own humanity. If you find yourself falling into the trap of mom guilt and feeling like youre just not up to snuff, I recommend reading Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman. Waldmans essays push and pull and dont care if they rub you the wrong way. Shes always straightforward about her emotions, about difficult decisions, and her famous statement that she loves her husband more than her kids. Its a collection that makes you reconsider your own ideas about what parenthood means to you and gets your brain moving in a satisfying way that you may need if you havent talked to an adult in a few days. Inspiring Mothers From Fiction If you like fiction and you want to spend a little time with the perfect mothers you read about when you were young, revisit some young adult classics. First up: Marmee in  Little Women. Marmee is supportive and loving, but she also challenges her daughters and wants them to grow up to be their best selves. A close second place goes to Marilla from  Anne of Green Gables. If youre feeling like a reluctant mother, like youre not sure this is quite all its made out to be and you dont know if you have the knack for it, remember Marilla. She wanted a boy, she wanted to take Anne back, and lets try not to imagine what life would have been like if shed had her wish. Watching Marilla change as she learns what real parenthood is reminds us that we dont have to be a natural. Mothers You Definitely Arent If you dont want inspiration, you can always go the opposite route and feel superior by comparison. Luckily, memoirs are full of bad mothers. Really bad mothers. Seriously awful mothers that will make you feel like youve really got a handle on this thing because you showed up today and you werent drunk. Did you abandon your adolescent son to be raised by your delusional psychiatrist where hell encounter drugs, pedophiles, and all manner of situations that are almost too freakish to be believable? Well good. Then youre doing much better than the mother of Augusten Burroughs in  Running With Scissors. Did you have heat in your home this winter? If there were icicles in your kitchen, would you tell your children cold weather is good for them? Do your children have to help you out of bed in the morning because the crushing of your artistic spirit is more important than putting food on the table? Then congratulations, youre doing better than Rose Walls, the mother of Jeannette Walls in her memoir, The Glass Castle. Have you provided your children with drugs, alcohol, or pornography? Do you chronically lie to them? Do you give them intimate details of your sex life? Then you deserve a pat on the back because youre many steps up from the mother of Susanna Sonnenberg, author of the memoir Her Last Death. See? You may have forgotten permission slips, lost your temper, or been stumped by 2nd grade homework, but youre really not doing that bad now, eh? Whatever gift you choose, make it count. Because the chances of that Sunday morning breakfast in bed arent looking so hot. ____________________ Book Riot Live is coming! Join us for a two-day event full of books, authors, and an all around good time. 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